Date: 2011-05-15 12:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pticca-gen.livejournal.com
да, так лучше.
я б, конечно, к "везло" поискала рифму поточней, например, какое-нить "весло", подходящее к свету, идущему по воде, но автору все равно видней)
хорошие стихи, чесно
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yurrikon
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